There are many milestones in life, i.e., becoming a teenager, getting one’s driver license, graduating from (fill in the blank), a big promotion. But there is none greater than finally qualifying for the senior discount at the grocery store. Yes, that day has arrived! Age 55 begins with your first trip to the store on the first Wednesday of every month. Your reward for this auspicious occasion? An additional 10% off your bill!
That’s all terrific but let us consider the downside. No, I’m not talking about getting up there in years, I’m talking about the arduous journey down the aisles. You gotta keep in mind that all the other seniors will be there too. And, they don’t move so fast anymore. You soon discover that it’s not all about buying large quantities of groceries, it’s about seeing your buddies. Gabbin’ with one another. Looking at the latest pictures of the grandkids. “Why it seems like yesterday that…” No, it was a month ago and you said the same thing then too!
The food selection process is another adventure. We all read labels now don’t we? Yes we do. But we don’t read so fast anymore. And, we’re slow to make decisions even after absorbing all the information posted on the sides of the cans. We are completely oblivious to the stacked up traffic behind us. I’m not complaining mind you, I’m simply pointing out some differences in attitude. After all, I’m sure I’ve rubbed someone the wrong way once or twice. Can’t imagine the circumstances but I’m quite sure it’s happened.
It did not take me very long to realize that there has to be a plan of attack, er, strategy. If an aisle is blocked, write the aisle number down and move on. You can double back later. It’s risky because the seniors keep coming. Here’s another tip: arrive early if you want the best selection. The clerks just cannot keep the shelves stocked fast enough to make it through the day. And, be aware that there are certain items that can disappear in the blink of an eye: prunes, for example. Get ‘em while you can!
Now, a word about the brighter side. With the discount, you can afford to be a little pretentious. Yes, you can buy stuff that you see those fine upper middle-class folks buy in the movies. Couscous, for example. I’m not exactly sure what it is but it’s sure to impress somebody. There are also procedures to follow when stocking one’s cabinets at home to get the maximum effect. These items must be displayed in such a manner that they will be seen. Couscous – front and center! Yes, I know you’ll never actually eat it but…
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Imagine my shock when the cashier at the Golden Corral in Kingman rang me up for a “Senior Discount” without asking my age!
Comment by Bud — September 7, 2006 @ 8:33 pm